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Editor's Note - December 2009
12/1/2009
8:00 am
 Vanderbilt Health One Hundred Oaks But sometimes something stops you dead in your tracks – brings everything to a screeching halt – where you are suspended in the suddenly inescapable present moment. A few weeks ago, that was true for me. It was time for my annual mammogram, and it was my first visit to the Breast Center since it moved to Vanderbilt Health One Hundred Oaks. When I arrived at the gleaming new facility, I was pleasantly surprised by the extraordinary friendliness I encountered at every turn. I wandered the concourse, a hot coffee from Einstein Bros. Bagels in hand, thinking, “What a great place this is. The ‘One Hundred Oaks experience’ would make a great story for the View.” Little did I know that I would return sooner than planned. My mammogram came back with a questionable spot that needed further review. I tried not to let on that I was worried, but secretly, I was devastated. I had seen the havoc breast cancer could wreak. I had been so fortunate to be healthy all these years. Was my luck finally running out? Soon I was back at the Breast Center – this time sitting on the edge of my chair, gripping my pager like it was the ripcord of a parachute. I kept my eyes focused on the front desk, as though somehow that would make the pager go off sooner. Just as I became convinced the device was faulty, it came to life in my hands. I was greeted by a smiling technician who ushered me to a private dressing area, where I put on a gown and sat down to wait. I watched daytime talk shows without really listening. Soon I was called in for a mammogram that would focus on the dark spot. After that, I returned to the holding area to watch Oprah and wait some more. I was called back in for additional views, and then more waiting. As an extra precaution, I was called in for an ultrasound. By then, my nerves were nearly shot. I held my breath as the doctor examined me and evaluated the grey images on the computer screen. After much deliberation, he kindly explained that the dark spot was simply dense tissue. There was no mass. No lump. No cancer. He gave my shoulder a squeeze as he turned to go. I received a reassuring smile from the nurse, and in moments I was out the door and on my way home again, feeling the warmth of the sun through the glass of my car’s window. The moment of terror was over, and the exhilaration of its passing made me a little bit high. All of my worries of the day – my plans, my schedule, my list of things to do – were gone. I was vividly, ecstatically living in the moment. The air smelled sweeter. The sky looked bluer. I was momentarily lifted out of my extraordinarily scheduled existence to reveal what I know to be absolutely true: We have as much control over our lives as we have over the wind. Control is an illusion. We can plan out every minute – and we should be diligent to prepare for the future – but we forfeit the joy of living if we opt not to experience the precious moments taking place right now. The smell of pine needles crackling in a fireplace; a glimpse of the gentle curve of a loved one’s face; the sounds of children’s laughter as they tear through the house; the clinking of silverware on plates – precious moments all. In my life, and probably in yours, the tyranny of the urgent frequently reigns supreme. This holiday season, don’t let it. My wish for you is to listen, feel and taste what is before you now. Treasure this present moment, and share it with someone you love. Happy Holidays! Joan Brasher Editor in Chief, Vanderbilt View view-editor@vanderbilt.edu Posted 12/01/09 |
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